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UNIVERSITY! 

NORTH  CAROLINA 

Sehasl   *  i    LiJHAXJE 


jX>i 


UNIVERSITY  OF  N  C    AT  CHAPEL  MILL 


00022094378 


J  H 


~     -     ':    . 


This  Book  may  be  kept  out  TWO  WEEKS 
ONLY,    and    is    subject    to    a    fine    of    FIVE 
CENTS  a  day  thereafter.  It  was  taken  out  on 
t=      the  day  indicated  below: 


1  Apri9  40 

"     Iun25'40 
—     7Feb'46LS 

-      9Jul'4rM  I 
5Jui'47LS 


MAR29,9:C' 

JUL  JO  'j, 


LUNC    lOM-Ap   39 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2012  with  funding  from 

University  of  North  Carolina  at  Chapel  Hill 


http://www.archive.org/details/goopshowtobethemburg 


G     O      O      P     S 


AND   HOW  TO  BE  THEM 


GO'OPS 

AND  HOW  TO  BE  THEM 

A  Manual  of  Manners  for  Polite  Infants 

Inculcating  many  Juvenile  Virtues 

Both  by  Precept  and  Example 

With   Ninety  Drawings 

By  GELETT  BURGESS 


N  ew  York 

Frederick    A.   Stokes   Company 

Pu  blishers 


Copyright,   1900, 
By  Gelett  Burgess 


TWENTY-SECOND   PRINTING.   APRIL    1,    1932 


Printed  in  the  United  States  of  America 


J 

E 


Llbl,  I,  |v    0( 


Introduction     ....      P*g'  I 

Table  Manners — I.   ...  3 

Table  Manners  —  II.       .      .  5 

Cleanliness 7 

Neatness 9 

Courtesy U 

Generosity 13 

Consideration 15 

Miss  Manners 17 

Borrowing 19 

Memory 21 

Books 23 


Honesty Page  25 

"Why?" 27 

Bed-Time 29 

Modesty 31 

Disfiguration           .      .      .      .  33 

Bravery 35 

Tidiness 37 

Patience 39 

Fortitude 41 

George  Adolphus        ...  43 

Politeness 45 

Gentleness 47 


TABLE     OF     CONTENTS 


Hospitality 
Pets  .      .      . 
Remember! 
Curiosity 
Willy     .      . 
Clothes  . 
Helpfulness 
Quietness     . 
Order 
Teasing  . 


Page   49 

51 


53 
55 

57 

59 
6i 

63 
65 
67 


Interruption      .                      Page  69 

71 

Caution ...... 

73 

Tardiness     . 

75 

Obedience   ..... 

77 

Church  Headaches 

■     79 

8t 

Doll-Time 

83 

Combing  and  Curling     . 

85 

Cheerfulness     . 

87 

Of  these  Rhymes,  ten  first  appeared  in 
"St.  Nicholas,"  and  are  here  reprinted 
by  permission  of  the  Century  Company 


INTRODUCTION 


Let  me  introduce  a  Race 
Void  of  Beauty  and  of  Grace, 
Extraordinary  Creatures 
With  a  Paucity  of  Features. 
Though  their  Forms  are  fashioned  ill, 
They  have  Manners  stranger  still; 
For  in  Rudeness  they're  Precocious, 
They  're  Atrocious,  they  're  Ferocious 
Yet  you'll  learn,  if  you  are  Bright, 
Politeness  from  the  Impolite. 
When  you  've  finished  with  the  Book, 
At  your  Conduct  take  a  Look; 
Ask  yourself,  upon  the  Spot, 
Are  you  Goop,  or  are  you  Not  f 
For,  although  it's  Fun  to  See  them 
It  is  Terrible  to  Be  them! 


The  Goops  they  lick  their  fingers, 
And  the  Goops  they  lick  their 
knives; 
They  spill  their  broth  on  the  table- 
cloth— 
Oh,  they  lead  disgusting  lives! 
The  Goops  they  talk  while  eating, 

And  loud  and  fast  they  chew; 

And  that  is  why  I  'm  glad  that  I 

Am  not  a  Goop  —  are  you? 


TABLE  MANNERS.  -IL 

The  Goops  are  gluttonous  and  rude, 
They  gug  and  gumble  with  their  food; 
They  throw  their  crumbs  upon  the  floor, 
And  at  dessert  they  tease  for  more; 
They  will  not  eat  their  soup  and  bread 
But  like  to  gobble  sweets,  instead, 
And  this  is  why  I  oft  decline, 
When  I  am  asked  to  stay  and  dine  ! 


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CLEANLINESS 


The  Goops  they  are  spotted  on  chin  and  on  cheek, 
You  could  dig  the  dirt  off  with  a  trowel ! 

But  you  wash  your  face  twenty  times  every  week, 
And  you  don't  do  it  all  with  the  towel! 

The  Goops  are  all  dirty,  and  what  do  they  do? 

They  like  to  be  dirty,  and  stay  so. 
But  \{  you  were  dirty,  you'd  wash,  wouldn't  you? 

If  you  needed  a  bath,  you  would  say  so ! 


NEATNESS 


Goops  leave  traces  every- 
where— 

Gum  stuck  underneath  the 
chair, 

Muddy  footprints  in  the 
hall, 

Show  that  Goops  have  been 
to  call ; 

Shoes  and  stockings  on  "the 
floor 

Show  where  Goops  have 
been  before ! 


COURT  EST 


I  wonder  why  it  is  polite 

In  shaking  hands,  to  give  your  right. 

1  wonder  why  it  is  refined 

In  passing  one,  to  go  behind. 

I  wonder  why  it  is  well-bred, 

If  you  must  sneeze,  to  turn  your  head. 

Perhaps  the  reason  is  because 

The  Goops,  they  never  have  such  laws  I 


GENEROSITT 

When  you  have  candy,  do  you  go 
And  give  your  sister  halt? 

When  little  brother  stubs  his  toe, 
Do  you  look  on  and  laugh? 


The  greediest  Goop  would  give  away 
The  things  he  didn't  need  — 

To  share  the  toys  with  which  you  play, 
That 's  generous,  indeed ! 


CONSIDERATION 


When  you  're  old,  and  get  to  be 
Thirty-four  or  forty-three, 
Don't  you  hope  that  you  will  see 
Children  all  respect  you? 

Will  they,  without  being  told, 
Wait  on  you,  when  you  are  old, 
Or  be  heedless,  selfish,  cold? 
I  hope  they  '11  not  neglect 
you! 


And  the  largest  one  of  all 
Or  the  nicest,  big  or  small  — 
Well,  I    think   you  'd    better 
leave  her  that  one  too! 


BORROWING 

Whose  doll  is  that  on  the  table? 

Whose  book  is  that  on  the  chair? 
The  knife  and  the  pencils  and  other 
utensils, 

Now  how  do  they  come  to  be  there? 

Did  n't  you  say  they  were  borrowed? 

You'd  better  take  back  just  a  few! 
If  you   lent    your    playthings,    I    think 
you  would  say  things 

If  no  one  returned  them  to  you! 


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MEMORT 


My  teacher  taught  me,  yesterday, 

A  very  pretty  piece  to  say; 

But  when  I  try  to  think  of  it, 

I  can't  remember  it  a  bit! 

My  head  's  so  full  of  toys  and  such, 

I  can't  remember  very  much! 

My  teacher  told  me  yesterday 
"Work  when  you  work; 

Play  when  you  play  /" 
When  1  am  playing  with  my  toys 
I  am  the  busiest  of  boys; 
But  when  I  study  or  I  work 
I'm  'fraid  I  am  inclined  to  shirk! 


HONESTT 

The  boy  who  plays  at  marbles  and  does  n't  try  to  cheat, 
Who  always  keeps  his  temper,  no  matter  if  he's  beat, 
Is  sure  to  be  a  favorite  with  all  upon  the  street. 

The  girl  who  counts  her  hundreds  very  fairly,  when  she's  "it" 

Who  doesn't  peep  or  listen,  nor  turn  around  a  bit, 

I'm  sure  she's  not  a  Goop,  in  fact,  she's  quite  the  opposite! 


Josephus  never  yet  was  h< 
To  say  but  just  one  singl< 
When  father  said  to  go  to 
Then  "Why?"  was  all  Josephus  said. 
When  mother  bade  him  stop  his  play, 
Then  "  Why?"  Josephus  used  to  say. 
He  always  made  the  same  reply. 
'T  was  never  anything  but 
"WHY?" 


(] 


BED -TIME 


«" 


The  night  is  different  from  the  day — 
It's  darker  in  the  night; 
How  can  you  ever  hope  to  play 
When  it's  no  longer  light? 

When  bed-time  comes,  it's  time  for  you 
To  stop,  for  when  you  're  yawning, 
You  should  be  dreaming  what  you'll  do 
When  it's  to-morrow  morning. 


MODESTT 

The  proper  time  for  you  to  show 
Whatever  little  tricks  you  know 
Is  when  grown  people  ask  you  to; 
Then  you   may  show  what  you 
can    do ! 
ut  sometimes  mother's  head 
will   ache 
With  all  the  jolly  noise  you  make, 
nd  sometimes  other  people,  too, 
an't  spend  the   time   to  play 
with  you ! 


DISFIGURATION 


Have  you  ever  seen  the  scrawls 
On  the  fences  and  the  walls, 
All  the  horrid  little  pictures  and  the  horrid 
little  names? 
Don't  you  think  it  is  a  shame? 
Are  the  Goops  the  ones  to  blame? 
Did   you  ever  catch   them   playing  at  their 
horrid  little  gai 


It  's  terrible  brave 

To  try  to  save 
A  girl  on  a  runaway  horse; 
You  could  do  that,  of  course! 

But  think  of   trying 

To  keep  from  crying, 
When  you  're  hungry  and  tired 

and  cross  — 
You   couldn't  do   that* 
of  course! 


TIDINESS 


Little  scraps  of  paper, 
Little   crumbs   of  food, 

Make  a  room  untidy, 
Everywhere   they're 
strewed. 

Do  you  sharpen  pencils, 

Ever,  on  the  floor? 
What  becomes  of  orange- 
peels 
And  your  apple-core? 

Can  you  blameyour  mother 

If  she  looks  severe. 
When   she   says,  "It   looks 

to  me 
As  if  the  Goops  were 

here"  ? 


The  clock  will  go  slow 
If  you  watch  it,  you  know; 
You  must  work  right  along 
and  forget  it. 
So  study  your  best 
Till  it's  time  for  a  rest, 

The  clock  will  go  fast,  if  you 
let  it! 


FORTITUDE 

When  you  have  been  a  naughty  child, 
Or  taken  more  than  was  your  share, 

When  you  've  been,  sulky,  cross  or  wild, 
You  must  not  say,  "Oh,  I  don't 
care ! 

But  when  vou  hate  to  see  it  rain, 

And  when  it's  time  to  comb  your  hair, 

And  when   you  have  a  little  pain, 

Then  you  can  say,  "Oh,  I  don't  care!" 


GEORGE    ADOLPHUS 

Oh,  think  what  George  Adolphus  did! 
The  children  point  and  stare. 
He  went  where  mother  had  forbid, 
And  said  he  "didnt  care!" 


Oh,  think 

what  George  Adolphi 
did! 

JS 

He  made  his  mother  cry! 

The  child 

ren  whoop  "You  are 
Goop ! 

a 

Fie!    G< 

sorge  Adolphus,  fie!' 
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POLITENESS 

I  think  it  would  be  lots  of  fun 
To  be  polite  to  every  one; 
A  boy  would  doff  his  little  hat, 
A  girl  would  curtsey,  just  like  that 


And  both  would  use  such  words  as 

these : 
"Excuse  me,  Sir"  and  "  If 'you  please ;"( 
Not  only  just  at  home,  you  know, 
But  everywhere  that  they  should  go. 


HOSPITALITT 

When  a  person  visits  you,  remember  he's  your  guest, 
Receive  him  very  kindly,  and  be  sure  he  has  the  best; 
Make  him  very  comfortable  and  show  him  all  your  toys, 
And  only  play  the  games   you  're  very  sure  that  he  enjoys. 

When  you  pay  a  visit,  never  grumble  or  complain, 
Try  to  be  so  affable  they  '11  want  you  there  again ; 
Don't  forget  the  older  ones,  your  hostess  least  of  all, 
When  you  're  leaving  tell  her  you  have  had  a  pleasant  call ! 


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Almost  everv  Goop  forgets 
When  it 's  time  to  feed  his  pets, 
'Cause  his  memory  fails; 


Tlbaaaaa  ao|.J|aaaaaae|"  TcH 

UOT OPJJ"oO  DD^  U"* 


CURIOSITT 

I  think  that  it  would  help  you  much 

II  you  'd  remember  not  to  touch. 
The  Goops  do  this,  and  they  do  more, 
Thev  peep  and  listen  at  the  door! 
They  open  bottles  of    cologne, 
And  feel  of    parcels  not  their  own! 
But  there  are  many  stupid  folks 

J   Who  do  not  care  for  children's  jokes. 


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DO     NOT 

TOUCH 

THIS 


JVILLT 

Willy  broke  the  window- 
pane 

Willy  spilled  the  ink, 
Willy  left  the  water-pipe 

Running  in  the  sink! 

Did  his  mother  punish  him  ? 
No!    I'll  tell  you  why. 
Willy,  he  owned  up  to  it, 
And  didn't  tell  a  lie! 

Willy  told  his  mother 
Before  she  found  it  out 

He  said:    "I  am  so  sorry!" 
iWtfsaid  "I  have  no  doubt! 


CLOTHES 

When  you  are  playing  in  the  dirt, 
You  should  wear  clothes  you  cannot  hurt; 
It  will  not  matter,  when  they  're  worn, 
If thev  are  just  a  little  torn. 

But  when  you  're  really  nicely  dressed, 
Be  careful  of  your  Sunday  Best! 
You  must  not  crawl  upon  your  knees; 
Be  careful  of  your  elbows,  please! 


HELPFULNESS 

I  never  knew  a  Goop  to  help  his  mother, 
I  never  knew  a  Goop  to.  help  his  dad, 
And  they  never  do  a  thing  lor  one 

another; 
They  are  actually,  absolutely  bad ! 

If  you  ask  a  Goop  to  go  and  post  a  letter, 
Or  to  run  upon  an  errand,  how  they  act ! 
But  somehow  I  imagine  you  are  better, 
And  you  try  to  go,  and  cry  to  go,  in  fact ! 


QUIETNESS 


Hush!    tor  your  father  is  reading. 
Hush!    for  your  mother  is  ill. 

Hush  !    for  the  baby 

Is  sleeping,  and  may  be 
He'll  catch  a  nice  dream  if  you  're  still. 
Kiss  me,  and  promise  you  will! 


E§S=— 

Make  your  soldiers  march  away, 
When  you  're  finished  with  your 

Pla7- 
Lead  them  to  the  barrack-box, 

Make  them  carry  all  your  blocks. 

Teach  your  doll  to  go  to  bed, 

Not  to  lie  about  instead; 

Tell  her  she  must  clear  away 

Everything  she's  used  to-day. 

All  your  playthings  and  your  toys 

Must  be  trained  like  girls  and  boys! 


Tease  to  linger  longer  when  your  mother  bids  you  go; 
Tease  to  have  a  penny  when  your  father  answers,  "  No  !  " 
Tease  to  have  a  story  when  your  uncle  doesn't  please; 
That's  the  way  to  be  a  Goop  —  tease,  tease,  teasel 

Hint  about  the  carriage  when  there 's  only  room  for  three ; 
Hint  about  the  toys  you  like  and  every  doll  you  see; 
Hint  about    the  candy,  say  you're  fond 

of  peppermint; 
That's  the  way  to  be  a  Goop  —  hint, 
hint,  hint! 

inonis) 


•U     i !     JL.:-;         > —      /  A 


INTERRUPTION 

Don't  interrupt  your  father  when  he's  telling 

funny  jokes; 
Don't    interrupt    your    mother    when    she's 

entertaining  folks; 

Don't  interrupt   the  visitors  when    they  have 

come  to  call, — 

In   fact,   it 's  generally  wiser 

not   to   interrupt   at  all. 


cRr-BABr 

I'm  sure  that  I  would  rather  die 

Than  have  my  playmates  see  me  cry  ; 

It  twists  your  face 

And  knots  your  forehead. 

And  makes  you  look  all  cross  and 

horrid; 
And  every  one  who  sees  you  cries 
"What  is  the  matter  with  your 
eyes  r 


CAUTION 

When  you  travel  in  the  street. 
Are  you  cautious  and  discreet? 
Do  you  look  about  for  horses 
When  your  Jittle  brother  crosses? 
Do  you  go  the  shortest  way, 
Never  stopping  once  to  play? 


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TARDINESS 


Goodness   gracious  sakes  alive ! 

Mother  said,  "Come  home  at  fivel" 

Now  the  clock  is  striking  six, 

I  am  in  a  norful  fix ! 

She  will  think  I  can't  be  trusted, 

And  she'll  say  that  she's  disgusted! 


OBEDIENCE 


CHURCH  HEADACHES 


When  't  is  time  to  go  to  church 

Do  you  ever  have  a  chill? 
When  't  is  time  to  go  to  school, 

Do  you  fancy  you  are  ill? 
Oh,  be  very  cautious,  please, 
I  can  tell  by  signs  like  these 
You  have  got  the  Coop  Disease! 


WlQ. 


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PERSEVERANCE 


Tony  started  bright  and  early,  clearing  up  his  room, 
Soon   he  found   he  had  to   stop   and  make  a  little  broom; 


So  then  he  went  into  the  yard  to  get  a  little  stick, 

But  the  garden  needed  weeding,  so  he  set  about  it,  quick! 


Then  he  found  his  wagon  he  intended  to  repair, 

So  he  went  into  the  cellar  for  the  hammer  that  was  there; 


He'd  just  begun  to  build  a  box,  when  it  was  time  for  dinner; 
And  that 's  why  Tony's  father  called  his  son  a  "good beginner!* 


DOLL-  TIME 

Spring's  the  time  for  marbles 
And  Fall 's  the  time  for  tops, 

But  boys  don't  know,  they  only  go 
By  seeing  them  in  shops ! 

They  like  a  sled  in  Winter, 

In  Summer  'tis  a  kite; 
But  dolls  are  found  the  whole  year 


